Sweet to Sour

Welcome to the fifth edition of "What if a Small Thing Changed?" This is the weekly segment that asks the question, 'what if a small thing changed?' By asking the question, 'what if a small thing changed?', we will find out what disastrous or non-consequential things may occur with the changing of a small and simple thing. If you have not followed so far, I would postulate as to whether you cannot point your purpose towards a polar pilotage; like picking your proboscis.

For this edition, the quinquennial of this blog, we need only look to our tummies. Aaron has suggested that this edition should focus on Jaffas (a tasteful and toothsome topic Mr. Aaron, have a point for seducing my stomach). Now, us people on the bottom-end of the world know Jaffas as a delicious chocolate sweet encased in an orange flavoured coating.

But what if a small thing changed? What if, one day, the Jaffa changed colour?! In all my wisdom and knowledge, I hold the horrifying answers. Do you want to know the answers? Do you? DO YOU?!?! Then, read on...

Firstly, the name would have to change as it would no longer bear resemblance to it's namesake's product; i.e., the Jaffa Orange. This simple change would have two major bearings on the world for New Zealand and her sister, Australia. These changes will come first in business and second in politics.

So business. Because of the sudden name change of a loved and trusted product, as well as the flavour change (whether real or perceived, an inverse placebo if you will), the product will stop being bought. This sudden loss of income for Cadbury NZ and Allen's Sweets AU will lead to a traumatic loss of revenue forcing those divisions of the companies to close down (because Jaffa's are that popular and affective). These country's economy will then suffer with the loss of these major companies to the point where NZ and Aussieland will lose the majority of their populations to the newly thriving country of Pakistan.

This leads directly to the second point of politics. Due to the Jaffa being named after the Jaffa Orange, of Pakistani origin, the Pakistani government will see this as a direct insult from the two nations. As such, Pakistan will take any and all New Zealanders and Aussiestanians into their nation with promise of hope and prosperity. Eventually, this PakistaNewStralian entity will become the most powerful force in the world, allowing for Pakistan to take the globe by force.

I dread to see the day when Pakistan rules the world, and I'm forced to be associated with Australians! So Jaffas, for all our sake, stay orange, round, and adorable!

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