Stick It To The Man!

Welcome to the tenth edition of "What if a Small Thing Changed?" This is the weekly segment that asks the question, 'what if a small thing changed?' By asking the question, 'what if a small thing changed?', we will find out what disastrous or non-consequential things may occur with the changing of a small and simple thing. If you have not persevered in the premise of this post, I would pardon your pointlessness to partake in more pleasing practices; like pruning pigs.

For this edition, the daffodil weekiversary of this blog, we will not take a suggestion, because I have far more interesting thoughts than you peons! So, my thought for this week's intellectual symphony involves an everyday office tool. It is the item that, literally, holds our work together. It keeps us on track. It keeps us sticky. It is sticky tape.

But what if a small thing changed? What if, in fact, sticky tape were never invented?! In all my wisdom and knowledge, I hold the horrifying answers. Do you want to know the answers? Do you? DO YOU?!?! Then, read on...

Well, not much would really happen. In fact, only three things would be of consequence. Firstly, my headphones would still be broken and I wouldn't be listening to the soothing sounds of Westlife, Billy Joel, and Black Stone Cherry. Instead, I'd be listening to my own thoughts more clearly; the sole way of ensuring intelligent conversation.

Secondly, there would be no need for ISO requirements on peel adhesion, static shear adhesion, break strength, or elongation. This would force all of 17 people to go out and acquire a job that would have an influence on the world greater than that of saying something's not sticky enough.

Third and final, the world would not know the name of Dr. Horace Day. The Day's would have no legacy to uphold and that would be a terrible loss to society.

I dread to see the day when the name of Day is forgotten and passed by like the dung of a hamster! So Dr. Day, we thank you for your essentially useless and pointless invention.

(The only sound reason for adhesive tape)

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